Have you ever felt like your voice was lost in a conversation? Or, conversely, perhaps caught yourself nodding along as a listener while your mind jumped miles away – or even back to yourself? We've all been there. But what if we told you that the power of truly being heard is not just a basic human need but a transformative force for empathy, inclusivity, and collective change?
Today’s post focuses on the power of active listening to better ensure all voices in our communities, especially those that are vulnerable and systemically silenced, are valued.
Being truly listened to is a basic human need.
Have you ever been a part of a conversation in which you did not feel heard? Have you said something that was in contradiction to your body language? Have you ever left a conversation and recognized that you or your conversation partner were not truly listening? Gave unsolicited advice or delivered judgment instead of practicing empathy, or seeking to understand, validate, learn, and connect?
From personal conversations to global dialogues, the quality of our listening reverberates in ways we might not even realize.
How might poor listening impact conversations about race, identity, and trauma in harmful ways? How does the everyday phenomenon of missed connection show up in broader dialogues about power, oppression, and marginalization in our communities?
Active Listening
Active listening is a communication skill in which the listener tries to understand the speaker's point of view or experience, deferring judgment, leading with curiosity, providing feedback, and responding with care.
Centering one's own experiences and feelings in conversations can negatively impact relationships. Intentional, active listening fosters more meaningful and effective conversations.
Active listening is not only important in everyday conversations with those around you but is also important in broader conversations where those with power and privilege neglect to hear marginalized voices.
A note on diverse communication styles
Active listening enhances safety and understanding for all in DEI spaces and conversations when it also remains mindful of diverse communication styles, needs, preferences, and contexts. Considering our diverse identities – from cultural backgrounds to abilities - not all individuals communicate in the same way. Receptivity to multiple communication methods, and different ways of expressing thoughts and feelings, goes a long way. Adaptability and empathy are essential components of active listening.
For changes in listening behaviors on your end, ask yourself:
Am I paying attention to what the speaker is saying?
Am I paying attention to what is not being said, including the speaker’s body language, actions, and silences?
In what ways can I make the most room for the speaker to express themselves authentically and safely, and in the way they need to?
What biases might I need to be aware of or leave behind in order to be a better listener right now?
Am I ok with my own silences? Is there a way I can offer a more empathetic and present response?
What new things can I learn from their experience? How do I express support and solidarity?
Recall an experience where you felt truly heard.
What did it feel like? How did the other participant(s) in the conversation create the space you needed? What impact did this experience have on you - short or long term? How can you channel the qualities you observed into your interactions?
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